Thursday 17th August 2017 — 06:25: Blood pressure time. Another short chat with the nurse about life changes.. Her words of wisdom? “Don’t let it rule your life. You are in charge. Respect it but do not bow down to its demands.”
The rest of this morning passes by amidst changing of patients on the ward, refreshments, a brief foray to the shower & the odd doze.
12:30: A nurse appears with my dinner & asks when I am due in theatre. I have no idea. He promises to do some reconnaissance for me to see what he can find out. 5 Minutes later he appears with an injection & a big smile on his face. I assume it is because he is going to harpoon me again, but he says, “You are first on the list for tomorrow afternoon.” We are getting closer.
13:30: A good friend & ex-work colleague arrives bearing gifts of fruit, a book & some Post-It Notes. We chat about life outside; life inside; friends & dogs. I know nothing about dogs. I learn much about habits, disobedience, solitude & poo.
15:30: A musician friend arrives bearing gifts of books. A bit of a theme developing here. we talk about business, trade, drums, percussion, music & dancing. I know nothing about dancing. I learn much about the differences between Rapper, Morris, Long Sword & Clog.
18:00: After a good evening meal my family arrive. We talk about the day, childcare, shelf-stacking, high performance cars, happenings on our street (no recent drugs raids) & family occurrences.
20:30: Our evening drinks arrive & I am gleefully informed that after breakfast tomorrow I will be NBM (Nil By Mouth) in anticipation of the afternoon’s surgery. Time for my tablets & another injection. Today has been a hectic & busy day, yet it has also been full of routine & chatter.
Have I accepted my heart attack any more than yesterday? Perhaps. Something has sunk in but so much still floats outside my emotional grasp. I am tired but not anxious about tomorrow, Will they find anything structurally wrong with my heart? The chances are yes, but still I fear them finding nothing & then feeling guilty that I have taken up a much-needed bed for the past 6 days. The brain is a funny thing. My thoughts are quite bizarre & disturbed. I need some sleep to switch off.
After the activity & excitement of the day, sleep takes me into its arms soon after my head hits the pillow …