That you don’t know what you’ve got
‘Til it’s gone
Joni Mitchell: Big Yellow Taxi
I have come to realise that friends fall into a number of categories, the most valuable being that you love to be around them; they love to be around you; there is no competition for attention; they genuinely want the best for you; you are not just a stepping-stone to their next achievement; when they speak you listen; what they say is not always easy but it is true..
When these people leave they leave a hole in your life.
I recently lost such a character, Basil; a quiet, unassuming, musical & artistic genius who touched those who took the time to see through his unassuming exterior & tap into the well of love within.
Yesterday, I lost another such friend, Mark. A larger than life, musical wizard with a heart almost too big for his frame to contain & an honesty that could sear the unguarded. Mark had no doubt of his purpose in life & continued to pursue that, to be the best musician that he could be & never compromise his principles.
Each time I lose another close friend, I am kicked into re-evaluating my life; my relationships & forced to ponder on what legacy I will leave in the lives of others.
… and often times, I am not comfortable with what I see!
It seems that we can so take for granted where we are, what we do, what we have etc that we miss the moment to create something of lasting value in the lives of others. Sure, we can be focused on the ‘now’ but we are also focused solely on how we can use that moment to benefit us.
If there is one thing in life I have learned it is that we never receive a greater sense of satisfaction & achievement than when we have helped someone else. Sure, we don’t want to spend so much time wanting to please others that we lose sight of our own life path, but neither do we want to be so focused on our own life path that we lose sight of others. If we do, we may lift the trophy of achievement, but who will we have to celebrate that achievement with.
There is none so blind as one that cannot see.
There is none so poor as one that does not have.
There is none so lonely as one who has, but it is too blind to see others with whom they can share.
I honour my friends, Basil & Mark for their impact on my life & for challenging me in their own inimitable way, to change; to be better; to look outside myself; to create a community rather than an island; to not take bullshit & do something positive with a lasting value on that wider community. I have ultimate respect for their different paths in & approaches to life; both demonstrating that despite set-backs & mistakes they were prepared to learn the lessons & apply those lessons to improve not only their own life, but also the lives of those around them.
Once again, there I find another hole in my whole that will be difficult to fill.
BUT there is also a legacy & treasure chest of memories that they leave which inspire, motivate & encourage me forward to achieve something bigger than my own small Nirvana.
Take care until nest time …