When The Words “I Love You” Are Not Enough

[Words Are Empty Without Evidence]

Words Are Empty Without Evidence

I was talking with a good friend recently & we were discussing how people can know that they are loved by others.

The first thing that comes to mind is we can tell them.

Then I started to think back across the past year at what had been most effective in letting me know that people loved me & I asked myself the question, “Is telling someone enough?” 

You see, there have been many people that have said similar things to me but I am left with two camps in which I place those people:

  • CAMP 1: Those who have told me & demonstrated it
  • CAMP 2: Those who have told me but done nothing about it

This may seem a bit black-and-white & I appreciate that it is too easy to over simplify things, but backing-up what I say with what I do is important for me as I act towards others & it is also important with those who act towards me.

I would never take away the value of telling people how important they are & how much they are loved & for some that is a critical first step.

Sure if we meet people as a one-off (such as through business) there isn’t always time to back-up what is said but saying something positive & encouraging is better than saying nothing at all.

However, if I am looking to develop any kind of relationship with someone then my words may be a good start but the true impact only really comes when I demonstrate what I say through what I do & who I am. Trust is essential for strong relationships & trust is built on reliability: doing what I say. Authenticity is another attribute many look for without realising it.

Relationships developed on trust allow for hiccups along the way: misunderstanding; mistakes; misplaced intentions. However, if we do not build relationships on trust it’s a bit like the proverbial house built on sand: when the tests come (such as misunderstanding; mistakes; misplaced intentions) there are no foundations (no evidence or experience on which to base our assessment of the situation) so our house (relationship) is in great danger of collapsing or being quite badly damaged. As we know, rebuilding work takes longer than the first time because there is debris that needs removing & lots of other things to check before building can recommence.

I’m trying to learn that demonstration is so important as back-up to my words. If I can’t back-up what I say in a practical way then I almost undermine the foundations I’m trying to build.

Until next time …

About waywood

Hi & Welcome to my thoughts. I share subjects that are important to me. As you’ll notice, these subjects can be quite broad & varied. I like variety; I like breadth & I like a challenge. I am passionate about helping others overcome their fears, grow in confidence & succeed. Although many people would label me as an achiever, I have battled low confidence, low self-esteem & a couple of nasty, long periods depression over the years. I can’t say, “I know how you feel” but I can hopefully empathise & offer some of the things that are helping me to turn my life around. Please feel free to comment, share & enjoy. Take care, best wishes & keep well Stuart
This entry was posted in Friendship, Life & Culture, love, relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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