30 Important Lessons I’ve Learnt About Friendship

[Friendships Are Our Most Valuable Assets As Human Beings]

Friendships Are Our Most Valuable Assets As Human Beings

Perhaps one of the most widely written-about subject is friendship.

Over the years, popular music has been full of songs that address the good, the bad & the ugly faces of being a friend or experiences with a friend.

Here are 30 observations from my own 50+ years of trying to be a friend to others. Many of these have arisen through painful mistakes I have made.  This is no definitive list but an offering which I hope will enable you to enjoy long, deep, meaningful & mutually beneficial friendships with those around you:

  1. Friendship involves commitment, through thick & thin, which is not always easy
  2. Friendship costs, in time, effort, emotion & patience
  3. Friendship is about being 100% honest with each other whilst guarding what we share; not all friends need to know everything about us. We learn what we can & cannot share as the friendship develops
  4. Friendship is about deciding how much we can give or take & sticking to that agreement
  5. Friendships are more effective when we under-promise & over-deliver
  6. Friendship isn’t so much having all the answers but admitting that we don’t have all the answers
  7. Friendships are most effective when we commit to what we can put into the friendship, rather than what we can get out of it
  8. Friendship is a two-way process but sometimes we have to support our friends more & at others we have to let them support us
  9. Friendship involves self-awareness & self-protection too.  This is not a sign of failure but an essential component of a healthy ongoing relationship
  10. Friendship is sometimes saying something the other party doesn’t necessarily want to hear, not because we’re being vindictive, but because friendship is about commitment & commitment is about standing by others & helping them.  This is one of the hardest aspects to get right & to get over
  11. Friendship built on strong foundations will last the test of time & storms. Disagreement is an integral part of building a stronger friendship providing we also exercise grace, that is, accepting that people (including ourselves) make mistakes & need to be forgiven
  12. Friendship is about consistency of message & demonstration of commitment when circumstances change
  13. Friendship is hard work
  14. The quality of a friendship is often measured by how many storms you have been through together & emerged at the other side, not necessarily unscathed, but still together
  15. We usually have a very small number of trusted friends, but a large number of acquaintances
  16. Friendship is much deeper than just knowing someone
  17. Friendship works best when we have a genuine love for & desire to support the other person
  18. Friendship extends well beyond the safe, secure, nice & the easy
  19. Friendships should not be entered into if you’re not prepared to get hurt
  20. Friendships should not be entered into if you’re not prepared to change
  21. Friendship is best demonstrated (the practice) & least talked about (the theory)
  22. Friendship should never be entered into lightly; the stakes are too high
  23. Sometimes friendship will involve you saying, “I’m not the best person to help you in  this situation whilst ensuring that we are still here to support them if needed
  24. Shit happens in friendships; it’s how you recover that demonstrates the true value of that friendship (to both parties)
  25. Friendships work best when we forgive often & keep short records of previous wrongs or hurts. If unresolved, small issues can grow, maim & even kill a valuable friendship
  26. A good friendship is one of the most fulfilling experiences we can enjoy
  27. Friendships thrive on mutual encouragement, which has to be based on truth not fantasy (or what we’d like the other party to hear)
  28. Friendships are a journey & a journey rarely involves smooth straight roads
  29. Friendships matter; without them, we do not function properly as people. In fact without them, we actively malfunction
  30. Good friendships involve the word “No

Until next time …

About waywood

Hi & Welcome to my thoughts. I share subjects that are important to me. As you’ll notice, these subjects can be quite broad & varied. I like variety; I like breadth & I like a challenge. I am passionate about helping others overcome their fears, grow in confidence & succeed. Although many people would label me as an achiever, I have battled low confidence, low self-esteem & a couple of nasty, long periods depression over the years. I can’t say, “I know how you feel” but I can hopefully empathise & offer some of the things that are helping me to turn my life around. Please feel free to comment, share & enjoy. Take care, best wishes & keep well Stuart
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6 Responses to 30 Important Lessons I’ve Learnt About Friendship

  1. Rob Grayson says:

    Great stuff, Stu. So much wisdom here.

  2. Pingback: BYE 2013 – Happy New Year To Us All | Hunt FOR Truth on wordpress

  3. Happy New Year – new friend
    ~ Eric

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