Blind Myths & Stories: Part 2 Funny Stories

In previous posts I’ve shared a bit of what I’ve learnt through my blind friend.  Some of it has been a bit heavy so today I thought I’d relay a few of the more amusing incidents and stories told by my friend.  Enjoy!

a. Guide Dogs

  • Guide dogs are specifically and very carefully matched with their owner for speed, temperament etc. So someone who walks more quickly will be matched with a dog who also walks more quickly.  A friend was returning home one day from town.  The journey took on average 20 minutes.  However, this day there was a brooding storm and at the first distant rumble of thunder they discovered that their guide dog did not like storms; they got home exhausted in just under 15 minutes!
  • Guide dogs usually retire between the ages of 9 and 11 depending on health etc.  They have been an intimate part of the owner’s life during that time and a strong bond grows, so saying goodbye can often be a traumatic experience (on the same scale a bereavement).  However, sometimes one would think that the dog is somehow making a point that they are ready to retire and get away from their owner! One friend’s dog decided that it would no longer guide their owner around puddles, so the dog walked around the puddles and took the owner straight through the middle!
  • On another occasion the dog decided to avoid something on the pavement and walked their owner straight into a telegraph pole, with resultant black eye. 
  • On yet another occasion, the dog was leading its owner through the market place at Christmas time and decided to walk under the large Christmas Tree. All fine, except that in doing so the dog subjected its owner to a good lashing across the face with the lower branches of the tree.

b. Blind Events

  •  When my friend was at the Royal National College for the Blind in Hereford, students frequently made forays into the town.  Partially sighted students (‘partials’) often accompanied totally blind (‘totals’) into town although it was not unusual for totally blind students to venture out.  This day, my friend’s then boyfriend and his mate (both ‘totals’) went into town together at the weekend.  Her boyfriend knew the way and was in command.  They crossed a road, but unknown to either of the students the local gas board had been doing some repairs.  Worse still, for some reason the protective guard around the hole was missing.  Mid-conversation her boyfriend disappeared down the hole whilst his friend, not having realised what had happened continued across.  It was only when there was no reply to his question did he realise that his friend was missing.  Thankfully, there was no injury and when a passing motorist stopped and helped the guy out of the hole, they were in tucks of laughter as he relayed how he had just seen this person ‘disappear from sight’ whilst crossing the road!
  • On another occasion my friend was visiting her family in Nairobi, Kenya.  They arrived at the airport where they were met by an enthusiastic assistant … with a wheelchair!  My friend was told that the wheelchair was for her and despite explaining that she was blind, not crippled, the assistant insisted she sit in.  As they walked towards the main terminal their speed was so slow that she got fed up, realising that she could walk faster on two legs than she was being ‘driven’ on wheels.  So, she stood up and started walking at which point the assistant’s eyes widened and he shouted out, “Hallelujah! She’s been healed.”

About waywood

Hi & Welcome to my thoughts. I share subjects that are important to me. As you’ll notice, these subjects can be quite broad & varied. I like variety; I like breadth & I like a challenge. I am passionate about helping others overcome their fears, grow in confidence & succeed. Although many people would label me as an achiever, I have battled low confidence, low self-esteem & a couple of nasty, long periods depression over the years. I can’t say, “I know how you feel” but I can hopefully empathise & offer some of the things that are helping me to turn my life around. Please feel free to comment, share & enjoy. Take care, best wishes & keep well Stuart
This entry was posted in blind, blind myths, blindness, challenge, friends, Friendship, guide dogs, humor, humour, life's like that, light relief, living with disability, true funny stories, true stories, trust, visual impairment and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Blind Myths & Stories: Part 2 Funny Stories

  1. Pingback: Snow: Blind Man’s Fog? | Stuart Wood's Weblog

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