Even When The Clouds Cover The Sun It Is Still Shining

At the times when we feel #hope is fading fast, it’s good to remember that there is hope, it’s just that we can’t always see it.

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Add A Bit Of Colour?

“Where’s the photo?” You may ask.

There isn’t one & for a good reason.

It’s very easy to make statements like this but without a reference point or completion (e.g., photograph to illustrate what I’m saying).

In leaving-out the photo much of the impact of what I am saying is lost.

Just made me wonder how often I say things in life that are not supported or enhanced by what I do.

Until next time …

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Confidence: From Within or Without?

Confidence doesn’t always start from within: sometimes it needs a kickstart from outside.

That’s why I disagree with the “think positive & everything will be well” brigade. We can think as much as we like but some things only begin to take balance & resolve when we are given a new perspective on an old problem, by another person.

At that point, “I could never do that!” has a chance of becoming “I never thought I could do that!”

Until next time …

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UK Government Does It Again!

I just read with interest how, once again, our UK government have proceeded to make decisions that affect the wider British public … without consulting the wider British public.

In their wisdom, they have appointed the head of a ‘successful’ inner city school to help decide on sex education for 5 year-olds and upwards. 

Great!  But why was there no public discussion or canvassing of opinion before such a wide-ranging decision was made?

Why? 

It seems that with alarming regularity, our politicians are making sweeping and increasingly significant decisions about the UK, from the safety of their ivory tower and without getting their hands dirty by asking some serious questions of the people that put them in power.

Perhaps it’s because they are afraid: afraid to face issues that others really care about and actually carry feelings that go against the politically correct norm (whatever that is).  Abortion bills rushed through ‘because of lack of time’.  What a great reflection on our society that we don’t have time to discuss the very thing that makes society live … life.  Please tell me what’s more important … MP’s salaries?  Christmas dinner?  The new car?  Choice of buffet lunch? 

Or is it that they genuinely don’t care?  Have they lost sight of reality?  Are they unreachable?   Do they weild too much power without true accountability?  Are they amoral?

Or do we keep quiet on issues that need to be raised and debated?

Yes! I am cynical.

We’re told, “Be polite”, “Don’t cause trouble”, “Enter into honest discussion.”  

But I ask, “When is this really reciprocated?”   My answer is, ‘Near to Election Time’ when they really fear the consequences of public apathy and the possibility of not getting back into power; when they need our support.  That’s when issues suddenly open up for ‘public debate and discussion’!  But until then, we have to put up with minority groups who shout loudest or carry a disproportionate amount of power dictating what the average person in the UK suffers, shaping a ‘future for all’ which does not include all and is far from rosy.

Come on Westminster!  Please stop insulting and fearing the electorate that put you in power and speak to us. 

And if it’s just good old British arrogance you suffer from … get a life and face reality. 

There’s more to this country than your parliamentary careers and public image.  Spin may flow smoothly from the doctors’ lips, but at some stage you will be taken down by the whirlpool it creates. 

Why can’t we have some transparency and accountability?  Or is there just too much to hide?

There is nothing to fear in open debate unless the fear is what will be seen by debating openly.

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‘Once in a Lifetime Offer!’

I read the other day that over 89% of the business books that people purchase and download go completely unread.

Of the remaining 11%, only 1% of those who read the book will actually implement any of the ideas they find in the book – even if they are well aware that doing so will cause immediate and drastic improvements in their lives.

And of that remaining 1% who attempt to use the ideas, an even smaller percentage will use the ideas correctly.

So, the average person has less than a 1% chance of benefiting from any book they download or buy.

I was staggered.  But then, after thinking about myself, I wasn’t quite so surprised.

The power of marketing is to prompt the ‘impulse buy’.  People pay professional copywriters hundreds, even, thousands of dollars to write compelling script that leads us to the big sell; making a decision to buy. And before we know it, our credit card is debited!  They know the power of words, images and a compelling argument. 

And clearly, for the majority of people this tactic works. 

We buy some low-cost product that we promptly forget about, whilst the seller repeats the process to hundreds or thousands of visitors … and makes a very healthy profit … mainly on people’s impulse buying.  We think, “I can’t do without this”  when clearly we can, or there would be a much greater percentage of people who would digest and apply every last morsel of information from those unread business book downloads!

In a world of ever-increasing speed and convenience, increasing pressure to possess and have, increasing messages of “You’re not successful in life unless …” it is little wonder that so many are drawn in by these ‘Once in a Lifetime’ offers.  We’re afraid of losing out or missing a bargain, when in reality, we’re spending money and gaining nothing … and in the process we join the queues of people on the credit and debt trap.

“Buy now; pay later”.  We’ve all heard it.  But if we haven’t got the money now, will we have the money when the bill comes through in 12 or 18 months?  It’s easy to think “Yes, of course we will!”  Unfortunately, if we fall for the salesman’s slogan once, there’s a good chance we’ll fall for it again.  So, in 12 months we don’t have one item to pay for; we have two, three, five, ten …  and at that point we’re stuck.

I don’t honestly have many real answers to this, and I’m certainly no financial expert, but I would like to share with you some principles that I try to apply and have worked for me.  So please, make of them what you will:

  1. Whenever possible I pay in full at the time of purchase.  If I use a credit card I always try to transfer money from a bank or building society account to the card and pay it off.  Yeah! I know the economists will tell you this is ‘bad practice’ because you lose the interest on your money, but honestly, unless we’re talking about thousands of pounds, a couple of weeks interest on a hundred or even a thousand pounds is worth nothing compared to our peace of mind.
  2. If I feel that I’m being drawn into a sale I’m unsure about I either make sure I have some time to think (the salesman worth his salt will grant this time; the shark will bite with “Oh! The offer finishes today”).  For online offers, if I’m reading the script and feel like I’m being drawn in, I take ten minutes, twenty minutes, an hour, or whatever is needed to walk away, have a coffee or tea and really think about what is on offer:  Will I use the product or information?  Do I need it?  Do I need it now?  I try to be very much aware of the ‘call to action’ line that so many marketers add to their copy: “Buy now!”, “Why wait?”, “Do it now?”, “Can you afford to wait?”  The answer in nine out of ten cases is nearly always “Yes I can thank you!”
  3. If I am going to ‘Buy Now; Pay Later’ I make sure I have the money in the bank and transfer it to an account where I won’t access it until payment day.  That way, I benefit from the interest and from the peace of mind of knowing that the money is there, ready to do its job when needed.
  4. If I’m shopping for larger or more expensive items I try to take someone with me who is not emotionally involved in the sale and can see things more objectively.  If they’ve got experience in the field of what I’m buying, all the better.  But their role is one of being objective; seeing things as they really are, without getting involved emotionally.  You’d be surprised how much easier it is to say “No” when you have someone with you who can help focus on what is going on without themselves being involved.  Marketers and salesmen know that the strongest pull on people comes not from facts but when our emotions are engaged. They craft their copy and words to appeal to our emotions whilst bypassing our reason and logic.  Reason/logic combined with emotions are a powerful force for common sense and keeping out of unnecessary transactions!

I know this may seem obvious but if it worked every time, many salesmen and online marketers would be out of a job.  They know our vulnerabilities and target them.

Enjoy shopping; buy books, read them and apply their knowledge; enjoy the bargains; benefit from ‘once in a lifetime offers’ but do so from a position of security and control. 

And if all else fails and you’re not sure, practice saying “No”.  The world will rarely come to an end if you do miss a bargain.

Until next time …

My Zimbio
KudoSurf Me!

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Who Cares What Others Think

Following on from last night’s ‘victim’ poem, tonight’s offering is seeing things from the perspective of the narcissistic abuser …

*******************

You wanted so much, you wanted to live,
But you didn’t realise I have nothing to give.
My life runs on empty which is why I need
Your love and attention so my void I can feed.

I’m a chameleon, a snake, a lover in one,
But I cannot disclose the things I have done.
My life is a cycle, a never-ending wheel
Of a lifeless interior, all dressed-up to steal.

My yes is my no and my maybe a curse,
You’ll never quite know just how perverse
My lying, deceit and moving baseline
Will mess with your head until you’re fully mine.

Why should I care whether you float or capsize
When you are my source who lives in my lies.
I do not care what has been said or been done
Because I change my mind and my story for fun.

Your feelings mean nothing, I prey on your life.
To me you’re an object, to friends you’re my wife.
I need your attention, though any will do:
Good, bad or ugly, it’s not up to you.

Our life is a farce and to me it’s a game,
If you step out of line I’ll destroy your name.
I’m clever, I’m devious: had a long time to learn.
Since I was a child and that’s why I burn.

I’m locked in my past, my pain and my hurt,
Like a crouching tiger I’m always alert
For targets and victims on whom I can prey
Without our friends realising how much you must pay.

I move in the shadows of friendships you’ve won.
They’re useful for now; soon they’ll be gone
When no longer they serve myself or my needs;
No longer a source on which ego feeds.

I conquer, divide, then conquer some more.
Building my need whilst you’re on the floor.
Sucking your life with the help of my friends
Spitting you all out when my need ends.

Control is my mistress; confusion my slave.
Lies are my language, surprise is my wave
That batters and breaks, releasing your tears
As you see no escape, imprisoned in fears.

I move like a Ninja, I cut like a knife.
I pierce like an arrow, bleed out your warm life
With stone cold precision and empty, dead heart.
Two people together, but you have no part.

If you dare to break free, I’ll crush you in pain.
I will win at all cost, I will win for all gain.
You have no Plan B because I am in charge,
Your master, your spectre, larger than large.

I’ve stolen your voice, your esteem and your worth.
Why should you have any? I lost mine at birth.
I’ve moulded and formed you with sinister care,
Then skinned you alive, alone in my lair.

When people find out how much they were wrong
It won’t bother me for I’ll be long gone.
Playing my games, pursuing my prey;
Living my hell, surviving my day.

My mask is my strength, deceit is my ploy.
I look like a man but inside I’m a boy.
Revenge is my motto, admit no mistake.
If they see I am guilty my mask it will break.

I need to be perfect, I need to be me.
No hope for the future, no hope to be free.
Driven by anger and crippling esteem.
I’m not who you think: I’m not who I seem.

Emotions are vacant from my soul and my heart.
I cannot relate, cannot play my part.
I need you to love me yet do not know why.
But give me the chance and your soul I’ll buy.

I’m funny, I’m danger, I’m anger in one.
I’m soul of the party, I’m hell when they’ve gone.
I’m witty, I’m generous, but please do not stare;
In case you discover I’m your worst nightmare.

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Discovery

When we becomes me and ours becomes mine.
When I am debased so that you shine.
When my time is yours and your time your own.
When your lie is truth but the truth is unknown.
When people are pawns and you own everything.
When your smile brings anger and fear is king.
When you fight for control, whatever it takes.
When reason is lost for victory’s stakes.
When it’s not your fault on any occasion.
When a simple request feels like an invasion.
When anger is love and love is rebuke.
When what you give is much less than you took.
When mind games and gaslights are what you employ.
When your needs come first at expense of my joy.
When life is a game and you are the player.
When dissection is executed, layer by layer.
When marriage vows are nothing but words on a page.
When love is no more than peace from your rage.
When sadness is joy and upon me you feed.
When you suck my lifeblood to fulfil your need.
When your webs become stifling as around me you weave.
I’ve had all I can take, so you I must leave.
You feel you have won but you’ll lose to my gain.
For when I am free, you’ll rot in your pain.
There’s no way to help and I know I’ll be missed,
Although you’ll not show it, my poor narcissist.

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Caught Under An Evening Sky

[Sunset photograph fisherman silhouette under an evening sky]

Under An Evening Sky

North Devon fisherman hoping for success at the end of an autumn day

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Autumn Manx Sun Sets Over The Sound, Isle of Man

The beauty of an Autumn Manx Sunset over The Sound, Ellan Vannin.

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Symmetry: Sky & Water

Last light of the evening reflected in a glassy River Soar, Leicestershire.

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Illuminated Evening Cruise

Evening cruise on the River Trent at Fiskerton, Nottinghamshire, UK.

(Photograph taken by Hazel Dee).

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Fire In The Sky

Fiery sunset over Fiskerton, Nottinghamshire, UK

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