Life’s Furnace

I’ve just returned from lunch with a good friend.  Apart from the usual catching-up we discussed our lives and where we thought we are heading. 

This was significant as my friend’s mum has been ill for some time and then last week the dreaded statement, “We’ve found a shadow on her liver” rang out in the deadness of the consulting room. 

For seven days my friend has been unable to focus on anything else.  In the blink of an eye, apparent uncertainty had changed to certainty of the wrong and unexpected kind.  Her life potentially was at the point of taking an unexpected change of direction.  the future was potentially certain and yet uncertain.  There was no room for trite or thoughtless responses on my part:  I could offer nothing but a listening ear and a guarantee of my support in whatever form was needed.  My experiences were irrelevant; how could I know what she was going through?  She wasn’t me.  But we both knew that having been through losing my own mother, deep down there was a bond of understanding and friendship that said,”I’m here and know something of where you’re walking.”

We talked about the questions that flew endlessly through her mind; questions which were all so unanswerable: the usual ‘What if’ scenarios!  We concluded that we can never really be prepared for what is around the next corner.  At some stage we all have some sort of shock that shake us to the core and though we may ask streams of questions we may not receive anything like a sensible answer.

I’m thankful for my friend and I know she has been thankful for me, because amidst all the uncertainty we know that the one certainty is that we will be there for each other.  We’re also thankful that we are able to support one another and as we wrestle with our uncertainties there is a solidity to our friendship that is strengthened and developed amidst the furnace of life’s challenges.

Tags: bad news, challenges, change through adversity, encouragement, Friendship, friendships, help, illness, life experiences, refining fire, relationships, support