Anyone who reads this blog, or any other of my blogs will know that one of my loves is poetry.
One of the lessons I have learned is that when the hard times roll in or I face testing, disappointment, high spots in our life experience etc., those are the exact moments when the creative spark bursts to a flame and I can engage in putting down my feelings and expression in poetic form.
A real joy for me is when visitors take the time to write in and tell about their life experiences and how they came to write poetry. Today, I would like to introduce Debbie, who has obviously been through some real ups and downs in her life and has recently discovered a gift for writing poetry. Here she tells us in her own words how this came about:
“I have a significant birthday coming up and it has made me think really deeply about my life.
As a young only child and also being the only grandchild in the family, I suppose I was sort of put on a pedestal. I felt like a princess and, I suppose came across as very “snobby” to other kids. I was very shy and found it always very difficult to make friends – I would usually strike up a friendship on the last day of a holiday, for example, having spent a whole fortnight just staying around my parents, wishing I had the courage to join in. I was educated at a private school, so did not really have chance to mix with other children in the road where I lived.
At 11 years old, just when I was beginning to create a circle of friends in our road – difficult, because I did not go to their schools, did not know their friends and my dad’s occupation not helping – my parents decided to suddenly up sticks, move to the centre of the city and run a dingey public house! I also changed schools (11+) to a grammar school for girls. The girls’ mothers probably did not want their daughters coming to my “house” after school, so I made no friends outside of school and I became extremely shy towards boys. I think I would turn red just walking passed a boy in the road! The pub had no houses around it – just offices, so there was no-one who lived nearby – just the odd security guy here and there!
At secondary school I thought I had one “best friend”, she had many friends though and it turned out I was not really a special friend of hers at all – in fact, when we left school, she emigrated to Japan – so that was the end of that.
In my working life I always found that you have friends at work but when you leave, you leave their friendship behind too and probably never see them again. My “friendliest” time of life was when my daughter was very young. I was at home for a while and got to know all the other mums in our small rural community. I joined the W.I. and the school funding committee and really felt as though I belonged. But I went back to full time work, other mums moved away over the years and now, though my husband and I have lived in the village for over 25 years, we really know very very few people – and, similarly, no-one knows us!
Sometimes I ask myself if I really do live there! We both work full time, our daughter is at uni and sometimes I really do feel quite alone. I envy people who either have a huge circle of friends or have life-long friends. I must say though, I am finding now that writing poetry – something I have never done before – seems to be a comfort to me and I hope this new found gift will open up a whole new community to me on the world wide web.
I have also made a promise to myself to now get involved again with local community groups and to start laying foundation stones for a happier and friendlier retirement, when I reach that time of life.
Just before Christmas I started having rhymes come to me – seems mad I know – but sometimes just a line comes to me and then I have to keep on at it until my poem is finished. I’ve even given up the T.V.. to do this! I have ended up carrying ’round a notebook and pen everywhere. Very odd indeed.
I’ve just added up that I’ve written 13 poems since just before Christmas! Really strange isn’t it? Must be my time of life or something! I’ve never ever written before – always thought I would get into painting if ever I had the time. But music and art are further back in my family, so it doesn’t totally surprise me.”
How cool is that? If you’d like to read any of Debbie’s work, please visit either http://poemsfromyou.blogspot.com or http://friendshipisaverb.blogspot.com … I’m sure you will be encouraged to have a go for yourself!
Tags: autobiography, barriers to friendship, barriers to relationship, creativity, cultivating friendships, debra dando, Friendship, honesty, integrity, loneliness, lonely child, lonely people, nurturing friendships, relationships, rural life, true stories, trust, village life, vulnerability, vulnerable, when friendship is hard to find, writing poems, writing poetry
