‘Once in a Lifetime Offer!’

I read the other day that over 89% of the business books that people purchase and download go completely unread.

Of the remaining 11%, only 1% of those who read the book will actually implement any of the ideas they find in the book – even if they are well aware that doing so will cause immediate and drastic improvements in their lives.

And of that remaining 1% who attempt to use the ideas, an even smaller percentage will use the ideas correctly.

So, the average person has less than a 1% chance of benefiting from any book they download or buy.

I was staggered.  But then, after thinking about myself, I wasn’t quite so surprised.

The power of marketing is to prompt the ‘impulse buy’.  People pay professional copywriters hundreds, even, thousands of dollars to write compelling script that leads us to the big sell; making a decision to buy. And before we know it, our credit card is debited!  They know the power of words, images and a compelling argument. 

And clearly, for the majority of people this tactic works. 

We buy some low-cost product that we promptly forget about, whilst the seller repeats the process to hundreds or thousands of visitors … and makes a very healthy profit … mainly on people’s impulse buying.  We think, “I can’t do without this”  when clearly we can, or there would be a much greater percentage of people who would digest and apply every last morsel of information from those unread business book downloads!

In a world of ever-increasing speed and convenience, increasing pressure to possess and have, increasing messages of “You’re not successful in life unless …” it is little wonder that so many are drawn in by these ‘Once in a Lifetime’ offers.  We’re afraid of losing out or missing a bargain, when in reality, we’re spending money and gaining nothing … and in the process we join the queues of people on the credit and debt trap.

“Buy now; pay later”.  We’ve all heard it.  But if we haven’t got the money now, will we have the money when the bill comes through in 12 or 18 months?  It’s easy to think “Yes, of course we will!”  Unfortunately, if we fall for the salesman’s slogan once, there’s a good chance we’ll fall for it again.  So, in 12 months we don’t have one item to pay for; we have two, three, five, ten …  and at that point we’re stuck.

I don’t honestly have many real answers to this, and I’m certainly no financial expert, but I would like to share with you some principles that I try to apply and have worked for me.  So please, make of them what you will:

1. Whenever possible I pay in full at the time of purchase.  If I use a credit card I always try to transfer money from a bank or building society account to the card and pay it off.  Yeah! I know the economists will tell you this is ‘bad practice’ because you lose the interest on your money, but honestly, unless we’re talking about thousands of pounds, a couple of weeks interest on a hundred or even a thousand pounds is worth nothing compared to our peace of mind.
2. If I feel that I’m being drawn into a sale I’m unsure about I either make sure I have some time to think (the salesman worth his salt will grant this time; the shark will bite with “Oh! The offer finishes today”).  For online offers, if I’m reading the script and feel like I’m being drawn in, I take ten minutes, twenty minutes, an hour, or whatever is needed to walk away, have a coffee or tea and really think about what is on offer:  Will I use the product or information?  Do I need it?  Do I need it now?  I try to be very much aware of the ‘call to action’ line that so many marketers add to their copy: “Buy now!”, “Why wait?”, “Do it now?”, “Can you afford to wait?”  The answer in nine out of ten cases is nearly always “Yes I can thank you!”
3. If I am going to ‘Buy Now; Pay Later’ I make sure I have the money in the bank and transfer it to an account where I won’t access it until payment day.  That way, I benefit from the interest and from the peace of mind of knowing that the money is there, ready to do its job when needed.
4. If I’m shopping for larger or more expensive items I try to take someone with me who is not emotionally involved in the sale and can see things more objectively.  If they’ve got experience in the field of what I’m buying, all the better.  But their role is one of being objective; seeing things as they really are, without getting involved emotionally.  You’d be surprised how much easier it is to say “No” when you have someone with you who can help focus on what is going on without themselves being involved.  Marketers and salesmen know that the strongest pull on people comes not from facts but when our emotions are engaged. They craft their copy and words to appeal to our emotions whilst bypassing our reason and logic.  Reason/logic combined with emotions are a powerful force for common sense and keeping out of unnecessary transactions!

I know this may seem obvious but if it worked every time, many salesmen and online marketers would be out of a job.  They know our vulnerabilities and target them.

Enjoy shopping; buy books, read them and apply their knowledge; enjoy the bargains; benefit from ‘once in a lifetime offers’ but do so from a position of security and control. 

And if all else fails and you’re not sure, practice saying “No”.  The world will rarely come to an end if you do miss a bargain.

Until next time …

KudoSurf Me!

UK Government Does It Again!

I just read with interest how, once again, our UK government have proceeded to make decisions that affect the wider British public … without consulting the wider British public.

In their wisdom, they have appointed the head of a ‘successful’ inner city school to help decide on sex education for 5 year-olds and upwards. 

Great!  But why was there no public discussion or canvassing of opinion before such a wide-ranging decision was made?

Why? 

It seems that with alarming regularity, our politicians are making sweeping and increasingly significant decisions about the UK, from the safety of their ivory tower and without getting their hands dirty by asking some serious questions of the people that put them in power.

Perhaps it’s because they are afraid: afraid to face issues that others really care about and actually carry feelings that go against the politically correct norm (whatever that is).  Abortion bills rushed through ‘because of lack of time’.  What a great reflection on our society that we don’t have time to discuss the very thing that makes society live … life.  Please tell me what’s more important … MP’s salaries?  Christmas dinner?  The new car?  Choice of buffet lunch? 

Or is it that they genuinely don’t care?  Have they lost sight of reality?  Are they unreachable?   Do they weild too much power without true accountability?  Are they amoral?

Or do we keep quiet on issues that need to be raised and debated?

Yes! I am cynical.

We’re told, “Be polite”, “Don’t cause trouble”, “Enter into honest discussion.”  

But I ask, “When is this really reciprocated?”   My answer is, ‘Near to Election Time’ when they really fear the consequences of public apathy and the possibility of not getting back into power; when they need our support.  That’s when issues suddenly open up for ‘public debate and discussion’!  But until then, we have to put up with minority groups who shout loudest or carry a disproportionate amount of power dictating what the average person in the UK suffers, shaping a ‘future for all’ which does not include all and is far from rosy.

Come on Westminster!  Please stop insulting and fearing the electorate that put you in power and speak to us. 

And if it’s just good old British arrogance you suffer from … get a life and face reality. 

There’s more to this country than your parliamentary careers and public image.  Spin may flow smoothly from the doctors’ lips, but at some stage you will be taken down by the whirlpool it creates. 

Why can’t we have some transparency and accountability?  Or is there just too much to hide?

There is nothing to fear in open debate unless the fear is what will be seen by debating openly.

Our house overlooks a quiet street, which means that when people come walking past, their conversations are clearly audible. This always provides an interesting ‘window’ on where people are at and how they feel. Many adolescents and adults in their 20′s and 30′s seem weighed down by some burden of anger that has to be discharged at someone or something. There is no discussion, just accusation or statements. A classic the other week was was a young mother (mid to late 20′s) who was making it very clear that it wasn’t her street, she only rented a house and therefore, it was the council’s responsibility to pick up her litter. As she rents a house, I wondered mentally what sort of dustbin or rat hole she must live in if she applies the same logic there. Another example is when a lorry stops to make a delivery. Cars taking a short cut to the station sit sounding their horn, as if by doing so the lorry will translate itself onto a roof and let them pass. The outcome of these encounters is usually the delivery driver slowing down to infuriate the ‘offended’ driver further, or a verbal exchange using few words from the original Oxford English Dictionary. Most of the impatient drivers are in their 20′s or 30′s (but older drivers are certainly not exempt … especially those who drive prestige cars!). Another individual on the street whose front door was broken down in a police drugs raid was quite incensed that they hadn’t tried the handle first “…because if they had they’d have found the door unlocked”;  not the slightest comprehension of why the police had chosen to drop in unexpectedly in the first place. Those in their older years do not get off scott free: There is a man who feels he is the street’s guardian who comments at almost anyone passing by who doesn’t fit into his mental image of how they should be acting. Young people having fun are often the target for his salvos of inappropriate words. It’s too easy to make generalisations, see the response but not try to address the underlying cause. None of the instances above are uncommon in any area of Britain. Neither, unfortunately, is the “I, Me, Mine” attitude that many of us display; ignoring others, trying to live in our own little bubble, looking after Number One. We see it but don’t even try to do anything about it. What can we do? We can show that things can be different by our own example. Thankfully I know many people of all ages who dare to defy the norm and be different; who find something positive to say when there is little positive to see; who care for those that seem to reject initial approach; who say positive things about others rather than being drawn into a bitching session; who make a difference. It strikes me that in our litigious, blame culture, it’s too easy to point the finger and abdicate responsibility for our own actions.  We want our rights without the responsibilities. But I always remember the wise words of a friend who said, “Remember Stuart, when you point the finger at others, there are always three pointing back at yourself!” So, when I feel justified in my criticism, blame and accusations, I try to remember these words and remember that perhaps, just perhaps the underlying cause of many hurtful responses is a hurting that needs healing. This is a formidable challenge as so many hurts are deep seated from a very young age.  That does not mean they should be used as an excuse, but it also does not mean they should be ignored.

Two of My Favourite Quotes

“Love your neighbour as you love yourself”  - The basic premise here is that we actually do love ourselves.

“I have a dream…”  -  Without dreams there is no future.

Building Confidence One Step at a Time

I’m always fascinated by how quick and easy it is to destroy confidence compared with how long it takes to build confidence in the first place (or re-build confidence after a knock).

I’m no psychologist so don’t really have any theories to answer this but I have made a few observations over the years that may help (they certainly helped me when my own confidence nose-dived … for 24 months).

Many of us seem programmed in to expectations: those we put on ourselves but also those imposed on us by others such as parents or close friends. If we don’t meet or live-up to those expectations we assume that we’ve failed.

The key question to ask is, “How realistic were those expectations in the first place?”

Sometimes we set ourselves up to fail; that way we’re not disappointed when failure comes, as it surely will at some stage.

Perhaps the expectations we set are achievable, but not in a single step.

We want in one; we make it in three, so we’ve failed. A counsellor friend regularly reminds me to ‘be merciful on myself’; in other words give myself a chance, including the failures. After all, if we take longer to achieve our goals, is the World going to stop turning or is our life in danger? Rarely is the answer to either of these questions ‘yes’.

Putting our expectations in context  is key to giving ourselves a chance and achieving our goals. Sometimes we’re simply too hard on ourselves.

What happens if the expectations have ben imposed on us by others?

That is a more difficult question to answer, especially in a work setting.  I’m not talking about work targets here; I’m talking about expectations of behaviour and attitude, especially if the go against our own code of conduct and morals. These seem to be big buzzwords in the business and education world but so few actually adapt them and make them work.  It seems that when competition comes, we’re expected to do what everyone else does, often involving making promises we can’t keep or ‘stretching the truth’ (we never tell lies!) about what we can do or orders we can fulfil just to get the business. The problem with this approach is that it will come out at some stage and when it does we show ourselves to be no different to anyone else. I have a good friend who actually resigned from an important position because he was being asked to do something that went against his personal morals and therefore, undermined his integrity. He was being given expectations by others that he was not prepared to undertake or embrace. He now runs a highly successful consultancy based on his principles.

So what?

When we are operating within our own realistic expectations, giving ourselves space to fail (and learn) and not compromising who we are, we are confident people. Confidence is based largely on what we know bout who we are, are we’re comfortable with that. We know that if we don’t get it right first time it’s not failure. All of the truly great inventors who have shaped and changed our world tried many (sometimes hundreds or thousands) of times before they ‘got it right’.

Perhaps we live in a World that expects everything too quickly and too easily, that doesn’t really leave space for trial and error (the true food of success) and in the process destroys confidence rather than building it.  Those with the loudest voice, strongest protest or biggest personality win the day, leaving the rest to suffer.

So, how do we build confidence in ourselves and each other?

This is a huge question on which are written many books and texts, but here are a few suggestions that I hope will help:

1. Slowly: Don’t expect too much too quickly.
2. Step-wise: Break a big task into smaller components and conquer each one.
3. Patiently: Give yourself space to fail (however you define it) and learn.
4. Overcome basic fears: These are key to holding us back and locking us into low confidence. Once you overcome one fear you realise that you can overcome others too. Ask good friends whom you trust to help you and to provide useful feedback.
5. Realise that you matter: Too many think that they have no value or worth (a lot of this has been learnt throughout life and often been imposed on them by others). This is a lie! Everyone ha inherent value; we do matter; we are important. Try to build this base and foundation and it will be easier to do the rest.  You may need help. Seek it out and find people (friends and professionals) whom you can trust and who can make it work.

This seems too little for such a large subject but I hope it has given you some useful and helpful pointers.

I’d like to finish with a practical example of confidence building that has helped a lot of people to take that first step.

One of the activities I run in schools and businesses is Meet The Beasts, a hands-on reptile and mini beast experience. Number three in our list of phobias (according to a Time Magazine survey) is bugs, creepy crawlies and spiders (Number 1 is giving presentations, Number two is flying and Number seven is death!). Many people (especially the girls) start out almost paranoid with fear when I produce the first snake or lizard.  However, by letting them see others (especially their friends) handling these animals, it’s amazing how quickly many grow in confidence enough to touch an animal. Some then move on to handle them.  the most spectacular are those who tell me they actually like the animals and are going to either get one as a pet (or ask their parents for one as a pet … at this point I often worry about parents hunting me out to ask why their son or daughter suddenly wants a pet snake!).

For many, the first step to building confidence is the opportunity to see close-up, what it is they’re afraid of and see how positively other people handle it.  For example, their friends are not bitten, strangled or poisoned (the three most likely fears of snakes). From there they move forward a step into doing something for themselves (though their friends have often been the catalyst in that process).

What I find really interesting is feedback from teachers and colleagues on how these individuals grow in confidence across a wide range of situations, being prepared to try new things or tackle problems that previously they were afraid to tackle.  Building confidence can be contagious, for each individual, as wells the whole class or group.

What better than to allow people to be empowered to change how they behave and benefit themselves and this around them.

THE OLD PHONE

I just rediscovered this story which I have always found incredibly inspirational and personally challenging.  I thank Wayne for writing it down and I hope you get as much from it as I have …

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The Old Phone

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighbourhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was ‘Information Please’ and there was nothing she did not know. ‘Information Please’ could supply anyone’s number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbour. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlour and dragged it to the landing.  Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlour and held it to my ear. ‘Information, please’ I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. ‘Information.’

‘I hurt my finger,’  I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

‘Isn’t your mother home?’ came the question.

‘Nobody’s home but me,’ I blubbered.

‘Are you bleeding?’ the voice asked.

‘No,’ I replied. ‘I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.’

‘Can you open the icebox?’ she asked.

I said I could.

‘Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,’ said the voice.

After that, I called ‘Information Please’ for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called‘Information Please’ and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, ‘Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?’

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, ‘Wayne always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.’ Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, ‘Information Please.’

‘Information,’ said in the now familiar voice. ‘How do I spell fix?’ I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. ‘Information Please’ belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall.

As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialled my hometown Operator and said, ‘Information Please.’

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. ‘Information.’

I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying, ‘Could you please tell me how to spell fix?’  There was a long pause. Then came the softly spoken answer, ‘I guess your finger must have healed by now.’

I laughed, ‘So it’s really you,’ I said. ‘I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?’

‘I wonder,’ she said,‘If you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls.’

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

‘Please do,’ she said. ‘Just ask for Sally.’

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered ‘Information.’

I asked for Sally.

‘Are you a friend?’ she said.

‘Yes, a very old friend,’ I answered.

‘I’m sorry to have to tell you this,’ she said. ‘Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago.’

Before I could hang up she said, ‘Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne?’

 ‘Yes,’ I answered.

‘Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you. The note said, ‘Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.’ He’ll know what I mean.’ I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

Sometimes it is a simple spoken word to someone who is surrounded by silence, that changes their day or even their life….

MSConfig Not Found When Using Run Dialogue Box in Windows XP

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not a computer expert, by any stretch of the imagination!  I use them as a tool and like them to work when I ask.  I occasionally check on what me PC is loading at start-up as so many bits of software seem to automatically add themselves to the start-up menu without me knowing anything about it, and I end up with lots of processing power being sapped by programmes (‘applications’) that I’m not using, running away unseen in the background.

I recently tried to type ‘msconfig’ into the ‘Run’ dialogue box from the Start menu and received a message  that msconfig could not be found.  I did the usual trawl of the internet and my brain started to implode as the tecchies discussed the inner working of my computer which gave me a headache rather than solve the problem.

In short, there seems to be a number of different reasons for this error message which can be divided into missing msconfig.exe application or problems with files/root keys (technical term).

 I should stress that the first part of any solution is the investigation and therefore, finding out information does not necessarily lead to actions to resolve it! In my case it was pretty straightforward and the advice I received matched my problem exactly.  Changing anything in the Registry or associated files can seriously screw up the workings of your computer so take advice if the solution is not obvious.

Here are the two things I tried:

1. I checked the folder C:\Windows\PCHealth\HelpCtr\Binaries to see if MSConfig.exe was there. It was so that was good.  If it had been missing, it would have been possible to download MSConfig.exe from the internet and put it in that file.
2. As  that was all okay I followed the following advice from Ramesh, Microsoft MVP on the web site Tom’s Hardware under ‘Forums’ which was as follows (I’ve edited some of the techno speak and added my own notes for clarity):

A.  This message can appear if MSConfig.exe is missing from the ‘App Paths’ folder.

a.  To find out, go to the Run dialogue box again and type in regedit.  This will open a new window containing the Registry keys. 

b.  In the left column you’ll see a list of different files/keys starting with the title HKEY_. 

c.  Open the key HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE,

d.  Then find SOFTWARE, open that

e.  Find Microsoft, open that

f.  Find Windows, open that

g.  Find Current Version, open that

h.  Find App Paths.

i.  Under App Paths there should be a folder/key titled MSCONFIG.EXE. 

If that’s there, open it and check that  the path C:\WINDOWS\PCHealth\HelpCtr\Binaries\MSConfig.exe is shown. 

If this path is missing, double-click on the Default file and type the following path C:\WINDOWS\PCHealth\HelpCtr\Binaries\MSConfig.exe into the field available, then click on OK.  This should solve your problem.

If the MSCONFIG.EXE folder/key is not in the list, right-click on the App Paths folder/key and a drop down menu appears. 

Select New and then choose Key. 

Type MSCONFIG.EXE and enter OK.  This adds the MSCONFIG.EXE folder/key to the list. 

Select the folder/key you have just created (MSCONFIG.EXE) then, as above, double-click on the Default file to open it and type in C:\WINDOWS\PCHealth\HelpCtr\Binaries\MSConfig.exe. 

Select OK and this should solve your problem.

As I’ve already said, software and registry issues are hideously complicated so if anything is unclear and the above does not make sense or folder/keys seem to be okay, ALWAYS ask an expert or seek advice. 

From bitter experience I’ve discovered that messing with the registry of a computer can seriously damage your health!

Funerals, Reflections & Relationships

Last week I attended the funeral of a good, long-time friend who died just before New Year. 

The crematorium was packed to overflowing and many familiar faces were dotted amongst the crowd of people who had come to pay their last respects.  The service contained some real heartfelt tributes and as usual, we all learnt things about our friend we didn’t previously know. 

The tributes were glowing: he was dedicated, hardworking, reliable, a loving husband and father … but one phrase amongst these tributes hit me harder than anything else in the service; it was the simple phrase,

“If only he knew how much he was appreciated and loved by others.”

And that set me thinking.

I had known him for nearly 30 years, yet how often had I told him that I valued his friendship and counsel?  How often had I said, “You’re a good friend” or “I appreciate you” or “If you ever want to chat, I’m here.”

Now I know it’s very easy to become introspective at funerals and think about the ‘what ifs’ and ‘If onlys’ of life, but I do think those few challenging words are very significant: to me  and to everyone in friendships or relationships.

We all need friendships and relationships to function at our best. Many will be long-standing; some will be more recent; some will be brand new.  Whatever their status, a key factor for their success is our input (the one thing we can control), both in terms of quality and quantity.

Why do we have relationships?

We’re human beings and we need personal contact: without it we’re potentially heading for potential health risks and psychiatric disorders/imbalances.  If it were not so, why is solitary confinement used as a form of torture to break down resistance and extract information/cause harm and suffering?

The nature of relationships will vary depending on their context e.g., personal relationships will be different to business relationships, but the core requirements are pretty consistent regardless of their context.  Three common scenarios are:

‘I’m in it for what I can get out of it’:  most of these are doomed to problems and failure, and are not actually true relationships. 

‘I’m in it for what I can put into it’: these are far more likely to work if the action is reciprocated by the other party(ies).

‘I’m in it for how we can support and help each other‘: these are the most likely to survive and thrive through good and bad times.

Face-to-face contact

An important part of a relationship is face-to-face contact.  Many of these face-to-face interactions carry far more value than we realise since many non-obvious factors like expression, body language, touch etc, reinforce our words and actions. It’s at these times that we can really build each other up and make the other person feel valued and important.  It may be a natural part of our relationship or we may have to work at it.  Whichever is true, it is important.

Attending my friend’s funeral has reminded me of the importance of these ‘personal’ moments and of my responsibility to help make my relationships successful.

If we are successful in just this area, we will have made a difference to other people’s lives and, I believe, made a difference to our own life too, because as our behaviour changes in one area it will almost certainly impact many other areas of our life at the same time … and surely that can only be a bonus.

New year. New Hopes. New Dreams. Same Person.

The start of a New year is always a mixed set of emotions.  On one hand it’s a continued step into the unknown; on the other it’s full of potential and excitement.

I’m not one for New Year Resolutions, but I’m definitely one for setting personal targets and for reviewing the past year and seeing how I can make changes for the better. Of course, we never really know whether the changes we make will be for the better: only time and experience will tell.

My major personal target for this year is to continue striving to ensure that what I say matches what I do.  Integrity in business and personal life is key to the success of developing new relationships and maintaining (and strengthening) those I already have.

I hope my business will continue to develop and I intend to do what I can to help that process.  I hope for greater happiness this year.  I hope for personal development and success for my children as they branch out into new fields and careers.

I dream for a restful holiday, away from it all, when I can enjoy time with my family and children.  I dream of travelling abroad. I dream of undertaking new challenges and completing some old and ongoing ones.  I dream of staying healthy.

But underneath all of these hopes and dreams, I’m the same person, with the same frailties, habits, tendencies, fears and insecurities.  There are plenty of things that could conspire against me.  But I know that much of what happens to me is out of my control.  I can control certain things, but other things will happen whether I want them to or not: they’re in that part of life which seems to creep up and, unexpectedly, delivers good or bad.

I’m thankful that whatever my future holds, I’m held by the God who made me.  He knows what will happen and He knows the way through it. He’s given me life in 2011 and together we’ll find a way through that, despite me and my foibles, will hopefully enhance the lives of others and myself in the process.

Happy New Year!

Reptiles with a Houdini Gene

We have had an alarming number of reptile escapes recently, usually first noticed when we come face-to-face with a snake on our landing. 

Our king of escapology at the moment is Reg the Columbian Rainbow Boa. 

My son noticed various things mysteriously falling from his shelves over a period of a week or so.  We couldn’t work out what it was. A week later all was revealed.  Reg had clearly realised that if he pushed hard enough against the roof of his tank, he could lift the lid (and the 2 tanks sat on the lid!) and wriggle free.  First line of escape was along the shelf and onto the bookshelves, where the various items were knocked off en-route to the door. 

His intentions were betrayed by a loud crashing sound on the landing at 4am.  Upon investigation I saw that a shelf had fallen over.  Moving to lift the shelf I was attacked by an exceedingly irate snake onto which the shelf had just fallen (and as I was next along I presume he thought I was the cause of his original surprise! and undoubted discomfort).  After a 5-minute cooling-off period, Reg was happily returned to a new tank with sliding doors which he hasn’t yet worked out how to open.

Reg is one of 5 of our snakes to have escaped in the past year. 

Another notable occasions was Snowy, our albino Corn Snake who casually slithered across my daughter’s foot whilst she was revising for some exams, to which she said, “Oh! Dad! I think Snowy’s out!”

So, if you intend to keep reptiles, especially those with no legs, remember they are genetically descended from Houdini and are pathological escape artists.  They will escape, so be prepared, or invest in tank locks for every tank you have.

We think it’s great fun looking for them, as it’s a bit like playing hide-and-seek with a 3-year old: they alway hide in the same place and think you can’t see them; then are surprised hen you find them.

Until next time …

Our Life Experience is Never Wasted

Since the middle of 2009 I have been visiting schools on a voluntary basis to talk about a whole range of different subjects: my work, pain, drugs, clinical trials, music. 

What has become apparent is how much of the information I had thought of as specialist is applicable to students in their studies, today.  It’s been a bit of a surprise rediscovery.  For example, my background in clinical trials has allowed me to share a wealth of knowledge with Year 7, Year 8, Year 9, GCSE and A-Level students.  What’s more, I’ve also had opportunities to provide input at higher education (degree) level.

So where does this leave me with respect to all the other activities I undertake, personally and as part of my business?

Add it to my portfolio!

What I am learning more and more is that we all have our own unique life story.  No-one else can tell it: it’s ours!  That story is extremely valuable to others, both in terms of our knowledge and our experience, however little we me feel we have! 

When I take time to look back and look at my experiences (good and bad) I’m amazed how often the help, advice or opinion of someone else has helped, either for providing a solution or for clarifying my thinking.

Our experiences are never wasted.  It is usually the bad ones we remember most and that come back to haunt us, but there are many good experiences which have etched their impact into the metal of our lives.

So, why should it be any different with our career?  All of life experience is valuable for how we learn and interact with others (or don’t).  If we add our total experience together, we will be amazed at what we can offer: it’s usually more than we ever realise. 

After all, it’s free added value!

The Importance of Personal Contacts

I have pretty much lived clinical trials, clinical research & drug development for 18 years of my life!  So, when I was made redundant in 2007 I decided to try something new as a career.  I focused on my drumming & percussion workshops for schools, businesses, community groups … and I discovered the importance of previous experience and exposure.

I am reasonably well-known in a few circles locally for my percussion and drumming work, but my workshops, though plentiful had been voluntary input to a couple of schools for friends who were teachers: I worked full-time and did the workshops as favours.  These were extremely well received and over a period of 5 years or so I made many visits.

Unfortunately, around the time I left work, there were major changes in the teachers (specifically, head teachers) at the schools where I had worked.  My friends retired or left the profession and so many of my contacts evaporated overnight. 

The last 2 or so years has been spent building links with new schools, but with many competitors already established, it has not been easy.

And through all of this, the old adage that “It’s not what you know, but who you know” has shouted in my face many times. Sure, I’ve had breaks and done workshops, and the future is looking bright, but it is difficult to express the frustration and sometimes blind panic that ceases hold when the very thing you’re wrestling with is what puts bread and butter on the table, clothes on your back and keeps your car on the road.

So what have I learnt?

In three words, “Never give up!“

I’ve learnt more about myself, my strengths and my weaknesses during this time than at just about any other period in my life.  And I intend to work on these as I move forward.

But if you’re a teacher, or a manager who is looking for creative drumming & percussion workshops to spice up your lessons or build your times (and you’re based in the UK), I can help!